No place for me in here

I've been nothing.

I try to read,  but I can't.
I try to listen to music, but I can't.
I try to connect with anything, but I can't.

I can't feel anything. Sometimes I get euphoric and all smiles, but it only lasts about one hour, then I'm back at being empty.

What I really need is to be alone. Not for some hours in somewhere special, but I need my own house. Somewhere where I can do my stuff slowly and gradually feel like I'm growing up.
I need it. I need my own place.

Meanwhile, I guess surviving it's all I can do.