Fuck it, give me the pills

こんにちは。

This week I committed the stupidity of not paying attention on the amount of my medicines and my antidepressant ran out so I had to stay without it for some days.

I didn't think it would make a big difference in my humor so fast, but it kinda did.

I got kinda sad and started to be emotionless and irritated at the same time.
So I asked my mother to buy it for me and I'll start taking them again tomorrow.
I guess I'll have to use them for a bit long time, maybe years.

It was bad feeling like that again, but at the same time I could remember how I used to feel.
It's weird to be too happy cause that's not who I am, I guess.

I'll try to control myself better not to be too happy cause it's no good.
And it's not myself, so I shouldn't do it. Being too happy.
There are other things I should focus on.

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 Anyway, I'm happy that the month is coming to an end. There are things I want to buy but without being charged for it next month cause my debt is already impossible.



👆This is a  new song from Blink 182 from their California Deluxe album (that I'm already wishing). It's simply great.

Well, that's all. Let's hope for time to pass unexpectedly fast.

バイバイ😴

Update - TSSF - Glenn yoon~~

Soo, after somes weeks of pain, i'm fine again. Sometimes i think i'll be able to figure things out on my own but then sometimes... it's difficult. But I'll try to accept more my lack of luck because as soon as I do it i won't get so upset as i keep getting.

Talking about upset, there's a new song from THE STORY SO FAR. I loved it. They came back with the contrasts (is that term right?). The song is called NERVE.
I got upset cause i won't be able to buy this album. I bought WHAT YOU DON'T SEE in the pre order but now i couldn't buy this one :((
And the dollar is so expensive that i don't know when i'm gonna be able to buy it. But someday i'm gonna get it. Someday .
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I just went to Merchnow.com and tried to see if it was really impossible. It is. I found a bundle for $10 and got super exicetd that maybe i could make it but the hope turned into shards at the shipping page. The shipping to here (Brazil) is $41!! It is already expensive in dollars, but i decided to laugh at myself and make the conversion. The total is R$165. Somewhere in this galaxy this price may be fair but here, Jesus Christ THATS SO IMPOSSIBLE.
I really liked the time i could buy CDs from the US for R$35. I'll remeber this time sweetly. <3 font="">

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I'll put a song in here now cause i want to.
Here it is.

윤계면(Glenn Yoon)  - 내 마음 정거장

사실 난 아직까지 두려워

눈 감으면 널 찾아 떠나

기차는 출발하고

닳아버린 우리의 시간들

넌 나를 향해 웃지

멈춰 서 있는 너를 지나 다시 떠나

추억 바람 불어 내 맘 싣고 떠나

널 향한 기억

뒤로 가는 슬픈 시간

우리의 추억 정거장

머문 그 자리에

니가 없을까 돌아보지 못해

이미 알고 있었는지 몰라

눈물색 물들여진 이번 역

너를 지나치면 볼 수 없단 걸

추억 바람 불어 내 맘 싣고 떠나

널 향한 기억

뒤로 가는 슬픈 시간

너를 보면 어떤 말을 해야 할까

슬픔보다 먼저 흐르는 내 눈물을

미안해 이 말 밖엔

안녕!

The Story So Far "Navy Blue"

Lyrics

I bet it hurts to read permanence

I used to think on all of this

And how you don't

Damn its hard to find

Sustenance when all I had

Was love for this

And now you don't 

Now I just abuse

Substances to drown out your accomplishments however few

All of this frustrates me bad cause I can't stay mad at you or change anything that I had she told me don't think like that its really not that bad

I hope this makes you sad

If its something serious 

then hit me up

But until then the door is shut

Forget my room

And if I had a match for every lie 

And every attempt to deny

I'd strike a few

I am the walls the silent halls

My jacket at your sister's wedding

Navy blue

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Though this song makes me sad i really like it. This song reminds me why the story so far is my fav band :)