A tight knot for a peaceful mind

I close my eyes
Suddenly I'm in a 24h diner by the roadside
It's past midnight and it's really cold
I ordered waffles and strawberry juice but I can't even touch it
Can't bear to put it in my mouth and chew it
All of a sudden it seems very unnatural, almost a profanity

So there I sit with an empty stomach waiting for something, anything, to change me

I guess I'm just too emotional today
I can feel everything without even touching it: The frozen air, the iron extremities of the tables, the curtains, the fabric of the employees' clothes... 
Maybe that's it
I'm absorbing too much from this world and giving nothing back

I'm sorry universe
I'm sorry that I can't even say I'm doing my best, cause I ain't.
Truth is, I should be out of this world
You and me, we both know this is not my home
All this... I can't understand.

So I take a sip of the juice and get up
Make my way home with my empty mind and heart
It's cold here too, so It's perfect. It's all correct
In this very moment I appreciate the fact that I live in a building
These thick iron bars are meant to prevent anyone from going further than they should, but I think it's time to give them a story.

So with the rope I was supposed to exercise with a knot starts to be made.
Very cautiosly. We don't want to lose this chance.
Repeating the hand movements that used to be done for fun I get to what I need
So I close my jacket tight and look at the view for the last time
It's still very dark but there are some lights on. It must be around three a.m.
While looking at this city for the last time I wish good luck for all these blinded citizens that will open theirs eyes soon. 
I hope they never see the truth I did.

Finally I place it around my neck and pull the knot tight on the back.

Its time to become what I always was: nothing.