Little lies for a new life

Hello there.

Well, three days ago I said that I wanted to buy the series I Am Not a Serial Killer's second book, right?
Turns out I already bought it.

haha

I'm just really loving this series.

The point is, I have always thought and wished that I could analyze myself better and therefore, change the things in me that I dislike.
And I think John Cleaver is very good at it. Actually, he doesn't change himself, but conceals the bad things in him that may scare people off.

So, I was thinking about starting to do it with myself.
I guess what I want the most is to improve what I say when I'm talking to other people. Like, I always feel like I'm sounding stupid.
I am very passive and affected by everyone, and it shows out a lot.
I hate it about myself. How much I'm stupid and weak i seem even to people I don't have anything to do with (that includes everyone, i think).
 
So, I will start faking all my responses. I know that lying shouldn't be the answer but I think that for people like John and me, we're too weird to be able to show ourselves the way we are, so I'll really start to lie.

I don't give a shit, I just want people to leave me alone and interfere as less as possible. Just like he does.

The answer to me is to be dark and alone. This is for the best.

I hope they make a second movie of this book - Mr. Monster.
I already miss Max Records in the role of John.

I wish I could know someone like him and be a relief spot in his life just like he would be in mine.