Set up the map and look ahead

"I think I try too hard
How I look, what I do, what I'm sayin'
I spend too much time explainin' myself
I hope there's some time to change it"

 This is a part of a the neighbourhood's song: cry baby.
And yes, I relate to a lot.

So, the course I was going to do actually started already.
Last thursday. I felt great, I seemed to do well.
I still think I did. But now I'm nervous about the future classes.

Mostly cause that's what happened the other time when I tried the college thing. 
I'm guessing that the best for me is to go there just to learn.
But truth is I really want to meet good people. And there I saw some of them that I'd like to know better.

My psychiatrist appointment is only on march. Two months from now. I really needed to be seeing one now. I guess I'll just have to wait.

I just hope I get to wait till there.

I need people like me, who understand. And I also wish to be a help to them. I GOT TO.

I just want to learn and make a good job, you know?

I just want to grow up.