A heart on replay

] 

All day, i've been anxious
my thoughts were uncompleted, my muscles trembling
I have been eating like crazy today

I'm stuck again
I was fearing those feelings might come back again

I won't allow it. I just can't.
Yesterday I could already feel myself getting smaller and melting really slowly.

Maybe I should get sad and more calm. That would be good
I want to feel calm, And a sort of emptiness.
They have always been my friends, my allies.
It's just natural that i miss them.

I... don't know if that's who i am... maybe it is, but I hate it.
If that's who i am than I hate it.
I don't wanna be like this. I don't accept it!
 

So the night comes to me again today, this time it feels so friendly
I can't just slamn the door
 

I welcome you, today.